"Do what is right, not what is easy nor what is popular."
This is a saying that I learnt in school when I was young. Its a very good advice and reminder. Last night something happened and I'm glad I did the right thing. It was not easy nor enjoyable, but it was the right thing to do. Those whom we love, we discipline. We love and care enough to discipline. I went to bed, with my heart a little heavy, wondering if this was the best thing to do. Could I have done it in another way? Was I too hard on the child?
However, when morning came, somehow I had the peace and assurance that it was the right move. The child remained in harmony with me. In short, I hope the child learnt what it meant to keep to one's word, and to act responsibly, in spite of how they might feel in that moment. If we only do the things that we feel like, or when we feel like, it's likely that we're gonna end up nowhere in life. There are healthy boundaries that we have to draw for ourselves.
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." - 2Timothy1:7
One day, I asked myself this question: What kind of relationship do I want with the children? I play several roles in the lives of the children - caregiver, social worker, sister, mother, friend, teacher, mentor etc. Might some of the roles clash with one another? Should I play the good cop or bad cop? Where and how should the boundaries be set? And, what if it's not that easy to steer the relationships in the direction that I want because... the truth is that many things are beyond my control. The relationship that I share with each child is dependent not just on my willingness, but also the child's - Do they want this? How open and far are they willing to go with me?
After thinking and reflecting, the relationship that I would like to have with our children is one in harmony, and opened to discipline and correction. The moments of discipline and correction might not be enjoyable yet they know that it's because I truly care. In my life, there are only a few people whom I share such a secured, close and deep relationship/friendship with. I think that this is the level of relationship I hope to reach with our children.
I sure need God every step of the way. Dear God, do Your work through my life for the children here
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Bella